


the way she makes me feel

by riversritual



Category: Big Mouth (Cartoon)
Genre: F/F, Other characters mentioned - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-28
Updated: 2019-09-02
Packaged: 2020-09-28 16:01:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,338
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20428613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/riversritual/pseuds/riversritual
Summary: Jessi is falling fast for Sasha Rowell, the new girl. But she’s scared at the same time about all these new feelings.....Let’s hope Matthew and Connie can help!





	1. Chapter 1

It was first period, and Matthew was asking Jessi who she thought looked like they would be the best kisser.

“How about no one?” Connie had suggested, with a laugh.

And Jessi would have responded had her attention not been snagged by something - or more like someone - else.

There was a new girl. Jessi tuned in enough to hear the name Sasha Rowell.

Meanwhile Matthew was rattling off a list of guys names, and Connie was either agreeing or disagreeing with his options.

Jessi let out a silent sigh, completely focussed on Sasha.

She was pale, with gorgeous long brown hair, and when she looked around Jessi could see her eyes were a beautiful sapphire blue.

“......what do you think, Jessi?”

“Pretty.....wait what!?”

Matthew giggled ever so slightly, and Connie smirked. “Looks like someone doesn’t have their eye on a boy but on a girl.”

“I do not, I only think....the new girl is kinda cute.”

“Well, maybe it’s just a small crush. I mean I won’t label you or anything obviously, that’s your choice on what you are, but I want all the details if it’s more than that,” Matthew said.

“Look, I only think she looks....really, really pretty. I haven’t even said a word to her!”

Connie sighed in the same way Jessi had done earlier, in the same lovestruck kind of tone. “Boy, if you two get together.....your hormones would be out of control!”

Jessi groaned. “Please tell me you won’t use this as an excuse to hook up with Lorraine.”

Oh, she knew all about Lorraine; Connie’s blonde haired coworker who she claimed to hate the guts of but at the same time flirted with her at any given opportunity.

“Well.....” Connie’s lack of an answer was all Jessi needed to hear before she head butted her desk and hid her face from view.

Matthew patted her on the shoulder. “Oh, there there, you fucking poor soul. It’s not the end of the world.”

The redhead looked up at Sasha, who was now seated at the front half listening to a rambling Missy.

“Pretty sure it’s the start of the end,” Jessi grumbled, with a small but noticeable smile.


	2. Chapter 2

“Okay, just go talk to her.”

“And say what, exactly?”

“Something along the lines of ‘welcome to our school, I know it’s a piece of shit but you’re perfect’.”

“I’m not saying that.”

“Fine, then I’m taking it.”

“Not the time, Connie!”

“Just go, girl!”

Jessi sighed. “Okay, but if this goes south then I blame you two, got it?”

“Well if you guys get together, I’ll gladly take the blame for that,” Matthew replied.

“Same,” Connie added.

The redhead sighed and turned, hoping her face wasn’t blushing as hard as she thought it was as she approached Sasha who was at her locker, unaccompanied.

“Um....hi. Sorry, I’m uh....in your sex ed class.”

Nice one, she thought to herself. But Sasha smiled sweetly and shook her hand.

“Nice to meet you, I’m Sasha. You must be Jessi, Missy told me about you.”

“Oh, um, yeah. That’s me. What- what exactly did she say?”

Sasha laughed, and for Jessi it was the sweetest sound.

“Nothing bad, I promise. She makes you sound awesome and I’m dying to find out how much of it is true. Wanna hang out sometime?”

“Oh! Um....yes. I’d- I’d love to.”

Sasha smiled brightly, and handed over a piece of paper. “Call me some time.”

“Sure....bye, Sasha.”

The brunette giggled and waved as Jessi headed off.

The redhead waited until she was round the corner and out of sight from Sasha before groaning and sinking down to the floor beside Matthew.

“That was kinda fucking funny, not gonna lie,” he commented. “But you got her number, that’s amazing!”

“How is that amazing? It’s a sheet of paper with a few numbers on it,” Jessi deadpanned.

“It’s an opening!” Connie insisted.

Matthew pointed at the hormone monstress with a nod. “Exactly!”

Jessi took another glance at the paper, and slowly pulled out her phone.

“Okay....what do you mean by ‘opening’?”

“Well it means you can find out if she’s interested in you, and if she is the door opens wider. If you two get in a relationship the door is completely open and I’m the most supportive friend you’ll ever have,” Matthew explained.

Connie hummed in agreement. “We just want you to be happy, Jessi-bear.”

Jessi entered Sasha’s number into her contacts. “Thanks, you guys. I really appreciate this.”


	3. Chapter 3

Sending that first text had been one of the most nerve wracking things Jessi had done and the entire time she had doubts, because what if Sasha had forgotten about her already? What if she had met someone else who was better?

Connie eventually got sick of the questions and waved them off.

“You gotta calm down, darling. I got a good feeling about this,” she smirked.

“Ugh, but I just can’t stop thinking about everything that could go wrong!”

“You know, Lorraine told me she’s seen this kind of thing before~”

“Connie. I don’t need or want your girlfriend’s help.”

The monstress sighed, loud and long. “She is NOT my girlfriend......yet.”

Jessi smiled, before instantly remembering her current situation/dilemma which still needed resolving.

“So what should I do then?”

“Text her,” Connie replied simply.

The ponytail redhead groaned, exasperated, but she did start typing at last.

J: Hi Sasha, it’s Jessi :)

She didn’t have time to think about it before hitting send.

“Oh god that sounds horrible now I’m seeing it again.”

“Darling, it’s been sent already, just roll with it,” Connie insisted.

“How can I roll with it when she might not even-“ 

The buzzing of her phone put an end to the ramble she was about to jump into.

“Check the phone CHECK THE PHONE!” Connie screeched excitedly.

S: Hey! I’ve been waiting ;) wanna hang out tonight? If it’s too last minute no worries

“It’s Saturday and Mom and Dina are both out for hell knows how long,” Jessi muttered to herself.

“Say yes, say yes, say YES!” Connie chanted.

J: Okay, name a time and place :)

S: Outside the school, ten minutes

J: Got it, see you soon

Connie was nearly dancing around the room at this point. “This is gonna be awesome, darling! Let’s go!”

Jessi was laughing out of sheer excitement as she left the house, locking the door behind her, not even bothering to leave a note in case her mother got back before her.

There was no time for that, she had to see Sasha.

“Yay! I knew you wouldn’t leave me waiting long,” the brunette had said cheerfully when Jessi arrived.

The redhead chuckled. “Hope you weren’t waiting too long.”

“No worries, only a few minutes. Shall we?” She smiled mysteriously, reaching out her hand.

Jessi took it and let herself be pulled along.


	4. Chapter 4

Jessi could remember every single detail of that night, even three weeks later.

Sasha and her had been out for what seemed like eternity when it was only a few hours and Jessi loved every single minute of it.

There was long walks through quiet streets, late night shopping in whatever shops were open, eating snacks in the empty park, and.....a few shared kisses to be remembered forever.

“I think I might like you....like that,” Jessi had confessed after the first kiss.

“I think I might like you like that too,” Sasha had murmured, right before she pulled her back into it.

.........

Jessi was able to sneak back into the house and her mother never knew she was missing.

It would be better if Matthew and Connie were the only ones who knew where she had been that night.

Speaking of which, Connie was going completely insane with the amount of hormones in the air.

Which tormented Jessi because it meant she had to tolerate her hormone monstress flirting with Lorraine yet again.

But at least Matthew was more manageable.

“I’m so happy for you, girl! I knew you’d figure it out.”

Jessi could hardly stop smiling. “Yeah, I’m still pretty happy.”

Upon walking into the school, Jessi could tell immediately something was going on.

People were staring at her, and whispering.

“That’s her.” 

“Holy shit.”

“I never would have guessed she’s a dyke.”

“Just like her dyke mom.”

Laughing, at her. Sasha said no one would find out so how did all these people know?

“Jessi.”

It was her, coming running over.

Don’t hold my hands, Jessi thought to herself angrily, yanking them out of Sasha’s grip.

“Jessi, I never told anyone, I swear-“

“Then how do people know!?” she snapped. “I mean Jesus, you....you told me no one would ever know.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t think anyone would see us. I mean....” She sighed, running a hand through her hair.

If this was literally any other time or place or situation, Jessi might have been lovestruck once more.

But this wasn’t one of these other times.

“Jessi, you have to believe me. I knew you would have a problem with people knowing especially with your mom and everything-“

“Wait....how did you know?”

Sasha took a breath before replying. “I did say Missy told me all about you.”

“Well she had no right to tell you that,” Jessi shot back.

“Come on, Jessi, please-“

“No.” She could feel her eyes fill with tears, as she turned away. “Just....just leave me alone, Sasha.”

And Jessi turned around, walking away from the laughter and the gossip.

And worst of all, Sasha’s upset expression.

...........

In the privacy of the girl’s bathroom with the door locked, with Matthew and Connie with her, she cried like there was no tomorrow.

Connie may or may not have been crying too on account of the hormones.

Either that or Lorraine had dumped her, and Jessi actually hoped it was the former; she didn’t want another broken heart to deal with.

But that was one good thing, it was indeed the former.

Jessi was upset because of how she had handled the situation, that she had walked away, that she had been found out.

It was a lot of things.

“You’re okay, you’re okay,” Matthew was repeating, and it was strangely comforting in a way.

“What do I do now? Everybody knows, and most of them are gonna make fun of me now because I’m just like my mom....”

“But some of them won’t,” Matthew pointed out, holding her close. “I remember when I first came out, and how most of the school was against it but some people weren’t and didn’t treat me any differently. That’s what helped me through it.”

Jessi had started to calm down at his words.

“And I know this isn’t the same,” Matthew went on, “that you may not be defined by a label, you’re just in love. But no matter how bad it seems, no matter how many people seem to be against you, you’ll always be loved and accepted by someone.”

“Wow....that was weirdly beautiful.”

“I hope so, I’ve been practicing ever since you first noticed her.”

Jessi laughed at that, and she laughed hard because good lord she needed it.

“Did you also prepare something for if we ended differently?”

“Maybe.”


	5. Chapter 5

Jessi had taken a few weeks to get her head straight, to decide how she wanted to handle the situation. Sasha had respected her wish to be left alone and had refrained from all forms of contact.

But now it was the night of the yearly school dance, and Jessi had made her decision.

She was wearing the dress she wore from Valentine’s Day on her Not-Date with Matthew, mostly because he was wearing the same suit he wore on that same night.

“It will save us from going shopping, wasting money we don’t have,” Jessi had pointed out weeks before.

“Fine, but I’ll only wear mine if you wear yours,” Matthew had replied.

“Deal.”

And now it was the big night, where Jessi would make the decision that would change her life for better or for worse.

She and Connie were both jittery, mostly because the two of them were going to face the girls they might actually be in love with after all.

That’s right, Connie finally admitted it to herself and Jessi that the feelings she had for Lorraine were there, and there were a lot.

“Okay....we’re really doing this?”

“Well, we’re already here. Might as well.”

“Oh god.....oh my god, this is terrifying.”

“Stop being terrified you’re making me terrified!”

Matthew sighed dramatically. “I cannot wait until all this drama is over and I can start planning your one month anniversaries and so on, so forth.”

Jessi laughed, and finally she went into the school.

The gymnasium wasn’t exactly crowded, but there was quite a small crowd already.

She could see Sasha right away, and a slow song was playing.

Somehow without words they found themselves slow dancing together, in the middle of the room.

“Hi,” Jessi said softly, smiling ever so slightly.

“Hi,” Sasha replied, smiling back.

“I’m so sorry, about everything. I needed some time to clear my head, and I just hope you can understand.”

“I do, I completely understand. And I’m sorry too, I really didn’t think people would have seen us that night.”

Jessi shrugged. “Old news now. I mean something newsworthy happens literally every single day here, even on weekends.”

Sasha laughed. “Oh, trust me, I’m well aware.”

“So, I was thinking, if you’re okay with it....”

“Yeah?”

“Maybe we try....a relationship?”

“Okay.....one question.”

“Go ahead.”

Sasha smiled shyly. “Can I kiss you, right here right now?”

Jessi answered that question by doing it herself.

And Sasha kissed her back.

Elsewhere in the room the redhead was well aware of Connie and Lorraine’s antics. 

To distract herself from that, she let Sasha pull her closer.

She let herself relax, because no one was looking and no one was talking about them.

And she felt free. And loved.


End file.
